D-anger

I LOST IT!   It’s gone.   I was so upset I refused to look for it! However, If I did not find it, my family would be in dire need of emotional repair.

What did I lose?  What  brings pain and destruction to my family?

My temper. My Self Control. My mind.

I pray you will continue to read this knowing I am a flawed follower of Christ.

I crush the fruit of the spirit because I want my way.

I long to react to every defiant answer from my child, or flippant remark from a loved one, with a gentle answer.

Even when they don’t.

One of our family verses:

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1.

So why did I lose it this morning?  Why did I yell?

I asked my son three times to brush his teeth. His reply, “Not right now.”

“You’re going to be late for the bus.”

“Just one more minute,” he said as he turned the tv louder.

“NO, NOW!”

I shut the TV off mid-show. “No more TV before school.”

He stormed out of the room, brushed his teeth and left for the bus stop. No kiss, not even a grunt goodbye.

I felt horrible. I searched the Bible for verses on anger.

“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9)

A FOOL!

Ouch!  The word of God calls me a fool, and I felt like one!

I don’t want to be a fool anymore.

The Hebrew word for “resides” is nuwach – which means rest, settle down, remain.  

There still may be hope for me after all.

I stood.

I visualized the anger falling from my lap, crashing to the floor. I always need to stand.

Stand up against foolishness. My foolishness.

So how do I stop?

Anger goes deep. Getting to its root is vital for change.

My friend, Cecil Murphy, describes it this way:

“I’m Seldom Angry About What I think I’m Angry.” ~ Cecil Murphy ~

I get angry when my son does not act as I expect.I get angry when no one listens to me.Lord, I expect respect. Is that too much to ask?

I continued my prayer with Psalm 139:23-24, “Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me and lead me in the way everlasting.”

God revealed my sin to me. I seeded my anger in unmet expectations.

I expect my son to behave and respect my request every time. When he disobeyed, I resorted to screaming. Instead, I needed to be firm with my words and give consequences. 

I endured verbal wrath from my biological father. I don’t want to parent like him.

I am glad God doesn’t treat me like I treated my son.

When my son returned home, I asked for forgiveness.He hugged me and asked for a snack. Yup! He forgave me.

The Lord and I still work on unbalanced expectations. However, I felt less foolish since my anger subsided.

What sparks anger for you? Do you expect too much from others? Join the conversation.